I'm just a Ho-de-de-de-de.

2011-09-24T15:45:00.000+08:00

“I could scream at the altar of a church, with a crucifix stuck deep up my asshole, that I fuck Jesus Christ hard through the hand holes and cream on his crown of thorns, and I will never hit the level of blasphemy that’s required for someone to pray to god for their family’s pet dog to return home. The idea that someone can claim that they know there’s a god because they feel it, because they trust a book that they were raised with, because they had an epiphany, and then ask this god to change its mind about its plan for the universe is arrogant. Once you say you have the answer to everything, but you can’t prove it to anyone else, I don’t think you can accuse anyone else of being arrogant. I think you are the king of kings of the arrogant assholes.”

—	Penn Jillette - God, No!

2011-01-22T03:27:00.001+08:00

Just busy semi-pining after the stupid boy that I thought I loved in secondary school.

2010-10-01T02:57:00.003+08:00

You know, one of the things I hate most about religious people (not even touching on the whole forcing their religion on others thing), is the fact that they use god (whichever god you wanna talk about, I don't really care), as an excuse (for lack of a better word) for things. Like 'Oh, for you god, i'll be strong", or like "I will be a nicer person for you". (I know I will probably offend a lot of people, but since no one reads this I don't care.) It's so frustrating y'know? You be strong because you want to be strong, or because you have to. You don't fucking be strong for someone else. Just like how you don't live your life for someone else, you live it for yourself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, take responsibility for your life. In the simplest terms, you don't kill someone because it says not to in the bible, you don't kill someone because it's morally wrong to take someone else's life. Period.

/endofreligiousrant

I don't even know what brought all of this on, I guess I'm just not in a very tolerant mood tonight. I blame work.

2010-08-05T13:49:00.007+08:00

Listening to - Heilig by Tokio Hotel

Think I'll try my hand at this whole blogging thing again for a while. I have writer's block and I can't seem to continue my damn article and time's running out fast. And after that I still have to write my reflection.

This year, band music, has been pretty awesome. I mean, in slightly more than half a year, I've seen Green Day, Adam Lambert, Katy Perry and Tokio Hotel. Not to mention the fact that I went for the signing sessions for both Adam Lambert and Tokio Hotel,

got instaxes of both of them, and won passes to Katy Perry's press conference at the Marina Bay Sands Resort rooftop pool.

Rooftop-freakin pool.

On the 57th floor.

Infinity pool.

I was more awestruck by the place than by Katy Perry. Hahaha. But seriously. It was amazing. It was just like the sort of thing you see in movies, but I didn't know that they really existed until Monday. I mean, free flow of drinks, all these high class food like marshmallows that fucking melt in your mouth, and freakin' champagne, and waiters walking around serving everyone. It was just amazing.

But meeting Katy Perry was cool too I guess. I got my cd signed, and an instax with her. 2 actually, but the other one is a 'group' shot and Sherlene won't let me keep it :(

Plus there was the Entertainment on 5 recordings for both Tokio Hotel and Katy Perry :D

I think I'll never grow out of this, I mean the thrill of seeing the bands/artists that you like, especially Green Day and Tokio Hotel, the exhilaration is just out of this world. I've definitely grown up I guess, at signings I don't scream at every, single little thing that happens, in fact I don't scream at all. But I still love them just as much.

2010-07-01T22:53:00.001+08:00

Matthew Leone:

My thoughts, love, prayers, all go out to you.

I pray that you'll pull through.

xxx

2010-06-28T10:16:00.001+08:00

won't you stay and cure the circles 'round my eyes? and we can watch the stars until the sun begins to rise.

2010-06-21T23:54:00.002+08:00

"I was raised very well, like a field of corn. I was also raised very christian, like the children of the corn"

2010-06-07T13:19:00.001+08:00

Procrastination procrastinationnnnnnnnn. Had 3 hours to study for the MM test, now I only have 40 minutes left and I still haven't start. Can anyone say totally screwed?

2010-06-02T16:21:00.004+08:00

All the seats at the Sunday masses
Filled with the masses massive asses
Classes bypass as fast as molasses
Ceremonial reading glasses
Read, a little bit of Leviticus
All the kids are a little too little for this
All the parents nod in agreement
"I think I can vaguely see what he meant"
Its too early in the morning glory
To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
Assuring the assured that they need not bother

"When God, in verse 45
Said that slaves are okay to buy

He meant that people all from the start
Each have slaves within their hearts
Things that we have sold or bought
Then are forced to pick our moral cotton
God calls us to set these free
Free our hearts from slavery
And then as God goes on to explain
The logistics of buying and selling slaves...
...He was just fuckin around"

In the back I sit and I nod
To the beats that are bumping from my iPod
My god they're starting to pray
And over the music I can hear them say
"Dear God, Dear Lord"

"Dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword."
"Dear good all seeing being
My way or the highway, Yahweh"

The blue balled anti masturbator
The great all loving faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might for
Making me both rich and white and
Though this is your day of rest
I come to you with one request
There's so much pain beyond this steeple
Wars and drugs and homeless people
Sadness where there should be joy
Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
A world of darkness needs your light

So I'm sure your schedules pretty tight

but my dog just had surgery

If you could fix that first

Debrah Messing's fingers in a holy place

Hail Mary full of Grace

Obama could you pass some hope to the pope

I know a couple dudes who want to elope

See the Church said nope so bros can't cope

The bros can grope but the bros can't cope

They've been in love and they've been addicted

Who said they shouldn't?

Benedict did

Cause in the holy land of the Lord

He's the holy landlord

And dicks are evicted
Cause you can be a benedict
If you've been a dick under Benedict
But you cant have benedicts
Because there's only one Pope
With only one dick
What? yo
A dick on a Pope is just like a soap on a rope
Cause its pointless unless in prison

Throw up your Bibles
Christ has risen
Hallelujah now its raining men
Because the gender ratios 1 to 10
Winos at the eucharist station, transgendered substantiation

Jesus wasn't the Messiah
Get back on the heretic and I'm on fire
It was Oedipus those holy nights
The holy mother fucking Christ
I'm a blasphema
Post Katrina
Crusin' the marina
On a crusade the crew's aides
And blast FEMA
You're too late
We're fucked
We don't need ya

2010-06-01T11:43:00.002+08:00

I think I've really been watching too much Bo Burnham. Our advertising teacher said 'mass produce' and I swore I heard her say 'masturbate'. And those 2 don't even sound the same.

2010-05-30T17:01:00.003+08:00

Haikus by Bo Burnham

I saw a rainbow

on the day my grandma died

fucking lesbian

For 15 cents a day

you can feed an African

they eat pennies

Old people's skin sags

because it is being pulled

towards the underworld

1 fish, 2 fish

red fish, blue fish

I think Dr. Seuse was autistic

A kid insulted my mother

so I said

your momma is so black

Do unto others

as you would have them do to you

said the rapist

My aunt used to say

"slow and steady wins the race"

she died in a fire

Even if he is your friend

never ever call an Asian person

I got a blow job

but it was really a hand job

from a deaf girl

I come in peace

that's what Gandhi said

whenever he masturbated

Bono, if you want to help poor people

sell your tinted shades

you cunt

2010-05-30T02:37:00.001+08:00

Cause there's an inverse relationship between respect and sects,

(I'm talking 'bout religious sects like a mormon sect)

that says you can't have sex with members of different sects,

but you can't have sex with members of the same sex.

So if the sects can't be different,

the sex can be the same,

then the only sex left is some left hand shame.

2010-05-10T00:51:00.002+08:00

So after a long day going to the national library, spending 4 almost totally wasted hours searching for research books, eating apple pie and corned beef sandwiches in Hans. hanging out with a friend and finally reaching home at 12.30pm, I have to drag my sorry ass away from the bed and turn on my damn laptop to start studying for MM. I am so incredibly tired and to top it all off, my left eye hurts like a bitch. I honestly think I punched myself in the face while i slept last night or something.

Also, I DIY-ed cut my fringe (in the baby changing room at Bugis no less), and now I have bangs. Again. I always end up over-cutting my fringe. :( People, namely Josh, are gonna say I look like a Yak again. Sigh.

Also, nobody's Lecture 1 notes are complete. Awesome.

Also, there are absolutely no books to be found for MRM. Even more awesome.

Also, Emida hasn't emailed us her feedback on our scripts yet. Due on Wednesday. Even, even more awesome.

GG.

2010-04-27T11:38:00.002+08:00

I want to redo my blog. I'm getting a bit sick of it. But I can't be bothered. Heh. Advertising is a bloody pain in the ass. And there seems to be a problem with the html of my blog. I don't even know what happened. :/ Oh well.

2010-04-22T16:28:00.009+08:00

Is this more than you bargained for yet? Oh, don't mind me. I'm watching you too, from the closet. Wishing to be the friction in your jeans.

2010-04-05T13:55:00.000+08:00

Note to self: Folie A Deux means 'The Shared Madness of Two" in french.

2010-04-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

I'm not looking forward to school starting at all. I'm not looking forward to being in a new class, with new people. People I don't know. It sucks that none of my close friends are in the same class as me, but I guess it's something I should have expected, cause things have a way of never going my way. :( I'll probably never hang out with the majority of them ever again. Call me pessimistic, but all those promises in Primary 6, Secondary 2 and Secondary 4 have all fallen through.

Sigh.. I don't like change. I wish we could all be like the APR people, so we won't need to change classes for our entire 3 years.

On the bright side, The Big Bang Theory is totally awesome.

2010-03-30T12:09:00.001+08:00

Oh my lord. Billie's kid's band sounds exactly like Green Day back in the earllyyyyyyyyy 90s. My life is now complete.

2010-03-26T03:48:00.003+08:00

Of all the ways, I never thought it would end like this.

Like violence, you have me, forever, and after.

Like violence, you kill me, forever, and after.

2010-03-21T12:03:00.001+08:00

Joshua Jeremiah Koh you owe me 22 goddamn dollars YOU BETTER PAY ME BACK

2010-03-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

Thanks for telling me.

2010-03-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a year and you still don't know anything about me at all.

2010-02-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

2010-02-21T15:06:00.000+08:00

2010-02-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't trust you.

2010-02-17T14:15:00.001+08:00

2010-02-14T21:15:00.002+08:00

Quick post before I take a bath and slump onto my bed and sleep for a day (I wish). Here's what I have leant on this first day of CNY in point form because I'm too lazy and tired to type in coherent sentences.

- Getting no sleep before going visiting is NOT A GOOD IDEA.

- Copious amounts of sugar needs to be ingested in order to perform basic tasks like shaking hands and idle banter with cousins.

- You must receive your ang pows with 2 hands or your mum will smack you.

- That CNY potato thing (no idea what its call but it's supposed to taste like potato) TASTES HORRIBLE and has an EVEN MORE HORRIBLE AFTER-TASTE.

- Babies hate me.

- Babies cry when they are placed in my lap.

-Babies will get distracted by a camera and stop crying, but will continue crying after they get bored. (Max 30 secs)

- I do not know how to hold babies.

- When I grow up I will get 2 dogs and a cat and call them my babies.

- I am a douche.

- Average age people think i am: 15.

2010-02-12T00:09:00.001+08:00

I wasn't supposed to be alone again this Valentine's Day... :(

2010-02-02T15:17:00.001+08:00

Go on, make my day.

2010-01-31T20:10:00.004+08:00

One day I will find someone who loves me and is faithful and appreciates me for who I am.

One day I will find someone who loves me and is faithful ~~and appreciates me for who I am.~~

One day I will find someone who loves me ~~and is faithful and appreciates me for who I am.~~

One day I will find someone ~~who loves me and is faithful and appreciates me for who I am.~~

~~One day I will find someone who loves me and is faithful and appreciates me for who I am.~~

2010-01-31T19:44:00.001+08:00

I hate technology. I hate laptops. I especially hate mobile phones. I hate who ever invented SMSes. I wish they'd burn in hell.

When on earth was the last time that two people sitting in a room together actually talked to each other?

2010-01-31T15:23:00.000+08:00

2010-01-29T03:00:00.005+08:00

Fuck everything. Just, fuck. Everything. And no I'm not talking about school. If school was all that was on my mind I'd be the fucking happiest person in the entire fucking world. I am in one of those moods where I just want to tear down these fucking walls and claw up every single fucking memory so I don't have to feel anymore. I don't want to fucking feel anymore. Nothing, just nothing. I want to be numb.

FUCK.

I never used to get these mood swings, never. Never. The rush of adrenaline is something so different from anything else, and it scares me that it's only fueled by hate. Hate. All I can hear is my heart pounding in my chest and I'm filled with this fucking urge to just destroy everything. I now know how murders are committed, because trust me, 25 to life seems a small price to pay for being able to rip your fucking heart right out of your chest and watch as your eyes widen in horror. You'll scream and no one will fucking hear you and that will be the best part. Because you will be the one left forgotten, not me. Know that if I self-destruct, it is going to be all your fault. And you'll be surprised with who you are.

I'm chock full of surprises aren't I? I don't want to feel anymore. There's only one thing that can get me out of these moods, and that's you. You holding me. It's as simple as that. But you're asleep, and so far away from me in all senses except the most obvious one.

And then comes the incurable sadness.

2010-01-28T17:04:00.001+08:00

2010-01-28T11:13:00.004+08:00

You keep telling me that I should blog more, but I don't really feel like blogging. I don't really feel like doing anything really, except for maybe curling up into a ball in the corner of my bed and going to sleep for a couple of weeks.

I wonder, does anyone read the lyrics that I always post? You of all people should.

One more time

I have crossed the line

Now you won't be mine

Anymore

One more dream

Vanished up in smoke

Now I have no hope

Anymore

Let it go

The damage in your heart

Let it go

The damage in your heart

I can't tell you how the words have made me feel

One more tear

Falling down ~~your~~ my face

Doesn't mean that much to the world

One more loss

In a losing life

Doesn't hurt so bad

Anymore

Let it go

The damage in your heart

Let it go

The damage in your heart

I can't tell you how the words have made me feel

One more tear
Falling down ~~your~~ my face
Doesn't mean that much to the world

Let it go
The damage in your heart
Let it go
The damage in your heart

I can't tell you how the words have made me feel
I can't tell you how the words have made me feel

I can't tell you
I can't tell you
I can't tell you

How the words have made me feel.

2010-01-27T22:26:00.002+08:00

The 16th never came.

2010-01-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

I was sitting by the phone

thinking when you gonna call.

But you left me,

you left me on my own.

2010-01-26T23:05:00.002+08:00

Let's see... Last monday, I had IS where we decided what topic we would do on our Final Presentation. Oil. Bleah.

And I'm too lazy to talk about the rest of my week.

2010-01-24T04:30:00.002+08:00

2010-01-14T08:28:00.001+08:00

Balls. Overnight queueing wasn't allowed(WTF) and the queue only starts at 10, so right now I'm sitting outside with Ganesh waiting to join the queue. We were beaten by 1 bunch of people(FUCK), and I'm bored as hell. And doing speech. I don't know whether to laugh or cry about my plight.

2010-01-05T11:20:00.003+08:00

WHEN YOU'RE FEELING KIND OF GORGEOUS, CALL ME ON THE PHONE AND GET OFF, GET OFF!

2010-01-04T00:47:00.004+08:00

Listening to - Bang A Gong (Get It On) by Cinema Bizarre

If I say I'm sorry

It's just me telling a lie

When you're in my arms

I feel emptier inside

I never felt so satisfied

Everything falls into place but

I think I need a little more time

And yeah I know my life has changed but

Honestly I don't know if we'll survive

A loaded smile

An empty glass

And one last dance

Walking hand in hand

You are all I ever want

And when you're not around yeah

Don't even notice that you're gone

We are barely hanging on

Everything falls into place but I

Think I need a little more time

And yeah I know my life has changed but

Honestly I don't know if we'll survive

Makes me want you baby

Can't you feel it, can't you feel it, can't you feel it?

I do still want to baby

It's a certain kind of complicated

Makes me want you baby

Can't you feel it, can't you feel it, can't you feel it?

I do still want to baby

It's a certain kind of complicated

Everything falls into place but I

Think I need a little more time

And yeah I know my life has changed but

Honestly I don't know if we'll survive

A loaded smile

An empty glass

And one last dance

2010-01-03T03:01:00.002+08:00

Listening to - I Don't Wanna Know (If You Got Laid)

New blogskin :D Oh and new music player... Thing. Cool huh.

2010-01-02T08:56:00.004+08:00

"ich möchte diesen teppich nicht kaufen...bitte" <3

*sniggers*

2010-01-01T00:23:00.005+08:00

Oh right, I forgot about the obligatory new-year's-resolution or things-to-do-in-2010 post.

1) I don't believe in miracles, I never did.
2) Nothing ever happens here, so sick of it.
3) I told you, I need to, get myself into something new.
4) I long for something mystical, hysterical.
5) Dark and tantric, sexual.
6) I'm not gonna live forever.
7) I'm not gonna live forever.
8) Better make it now or never.
9) Forever or never.
10) I don't believe in fairytales, too cynical.
11) Everybody stop and stare, I let it go.
12) I told you, I need to stick out I just can't be like you.
13) Send myself to outer space, a better place.
14) Gotta win the human race.

15) I'm not gonna live forever.

16) I'm not gonna live forever.

17) Better make it now or never.

18) Forever or never.

19) For my love is forever, forever.

2010-01-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

Listening to - Forever Or Never by Cinema Bizarre

I spent my new year with Cinema Bizarre. How about you?

2009-12-29T23:40:00.004+08:00

Listening to - How Does It Feel by Cinema Bizarre

Stupid German bands with their hormonally-charged, bisexual, androgynous boys make my heart ache.

Need I say more. Sigh..

I can only handle so much of these two guys kissing before I explode.

2009-12-25T23:43:00.003+08:00

And merry christmas to you too.

This holiday is one to forget. Another year, this time I'll regret.

2009-12-24T16:00:00.002+08:00

Hello obsession with Adam Lambert's new album. Please don't make me become sick of this album anytime soon.

2009-12-23T06:37:00.001+08:00

I can't keep my eyes off you.

2009-12-08T18:55:00.001+08:00

Word up from the world's greatest procrastinator!

2009-12-02T02:52:00.005+08:00

There's only so many times I can distract myself with facebook games or food or anything else in my house before everything starts flooding up inside me and overwhelming me till I choke and have a full blown panic attack. I wish I could function without sleep.

You told me your feelings through a song. Well here's my reply. What Went Wrong by Blink 182.

I'm sick of always hearing
All the sad songs on the radio
All day it is there to remind an over sensitive guy
That he's lost and alone

I hate our favorite restaurant, favorite movie, our favorite show
We would stay up all through the night
We would laugh and get high
And never answer the phone

I can't forgive
Can't forget
Can't give in
What went wrong
Cause you said it was right
You fucked up my life

I'm sick of always hearing
Sappy love songs on the radio
This place is fucking cursed and it's plagued
And I can never escape when my heart it explodes

I can't forgive

Can't forget

Can't give in

What went wrong

Cause you said it was right

You fucked up my life

I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me

What went wrong?

The nights are the hardest.

2009-11-18T20:06:00.001+08:00

"Today, I wondered if the thousand unsaid "I love you’s" that I've kept to myself recently might actually be better than confessing out loud that I’m still in love with you. MMT"

2009-11-16T01:41:00.001+08:00

I'm speeding by the place that I met you, for the 97th time.

2009-11-16T01:39:00.001+08:00

I'm not going to be able to wake up tomorrow. :( I've just finished my damn discussion board posts and I have a son of a bitch cough that's PREVENTING ME FROM SLEEPING ARGHHHH

2009-11-14T20:18:00.000+08:00

Let's sleep till the sun burns out, I'm melting in your eyes.

2009-11-13T22:36:00.001+08:00

Listening to - This is Fucking Ecstacy by Say Anything

I bough a new jacket from uniqlo today, lime green. Really nice. Well technically Kevin paid for it even though it was my money but whatever.

I am totally buzzed right now.

will you still love me in the morning?

2009-11-08T20:18:00.004+08:00

Listening to - Light With A Sharpened Edge by The Used

*sniggers* (any reference to Jigglypuff will NOT be appreciated)

Well, for once I actually finished an assignment more than 12 hours before the deadline. ... But only because I thought it was due at 12 PM and not 12 AM. -_-" Ahwells. So yeah, I'm done with speechcomm! :D

I have gone into nail-biting withdrawal. :( It's a bitch and I'm THIS close to scotch-taping my hands to my laptop so I can't being them up to my face. Anyone who has ever told me that they used to bite their nails but just stopped can go and die. (Yes I am looking at you Ying Xin.)

I am shit bored and have absolutely nothing to do. I am so bored that I am actually looking forward to go to school tomorrow. To go to some Women's conference. I know right? My life has reached an all time low. Haha. Ok I think I'd rather rot at home then go to some damn conference. I am not that much of a loser. Yet.

I'm a sucker for ~~puppy-dog~~ (kitty-cat?) eyes.

i will not bite my nails i will not bite my nails i will not bite my nails

2009-11-04T00:12:00.012+08:00

Back like you never broke
You tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg
And thinks he's getting close
For now you let him
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It's over

Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the ~~Belle~~ of the Boulevard

Because I'm no one special.

2009-11-03T13:16:00.002+08:00

I just realised that I feel even more self-conscious when my hair is behind my ears. I don't know why :S

Dark blue dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

2009-11-02T23:23:00.003+08:00

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

...

"but I don't believe in love anymore."

2009-11-01T05:04:00.002+08:00

Hey hey what do you know, it actually IS 5.07 am on a Sunday morning. Haha.

2009-11-01T03:06:00.004+08:00

Well I had like 16 hours of sleep last night (SO good by the way), and now it's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep. Karma. Lol.

I'm still thinking about the wedding I went to last Saturday and how great it was. It was the first non-conventional wedding I've ever been to and I hope mine will be like that. But better. :D

When we were sitting around waiting for the bride and groom to make their first appearance, I heard the song that I obsessed over but could never find out the title of for almost a year playing in the background. Digital Love by Daft Punk. I thought maybe it was just a one-off thing, but then the bride and groom entered to Life In Technicolor II by Coldplay. And at one point the bride was actually dancing to the song while walking to the stage. So cool I tell you.

Some of the other songs that played in the background that I managed to identify, in no particular order, were:

Accidentally In Love (!!!) by Counting Crows

Love Love Me Do by The Beatles

Obladi Oblada by The Beatles

8 Days a Week by The Beatles

In My Life by The Beatles

1, 2, 3, 4 by The Plain White T's

Friday I'm in Love (!!) by The Cure

A Buddy Holly song which I couldn't remember the title of, and Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison and Built to Last by Melee during the video montage.

So incredibly cool I tell you. At my wedding, that is, if I ever do get married, but that's for a long, self-pity filled post some other time, I will play I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes) by The Used. This song (to me), has some of the most romantic lyrics of all time. Say what you want about that song, but it will always be a love song in disguise to me. Come to think of it, I will play alot of songs by The Used.

A word of advice for everyone, if you ever say "This can't be a dream right? It feels too real..." or anything along the lines of that, then chances are it most probably is a dream. I had a dream where I said those exact words 2 weeks ago and it's still stuck vividly in my mind. Thanks alot, subconscious, for taking pleasure in mind-fucking me.

2009-10-26T23:48:00.004+08:00

I am welcoming my 17th birthday with an upset stomach. A bad one. And when I mean bad, I mean bad as in a I'm-spending-all-of-my-damn-time-inside-the-bathroom kind of bad. I would like to thank the higher power who decided to give me the ability to not retain anything inside of me for more than 5 minutes. Thank you very much.

2009-10-24T00:53:00.001+08:00

I refuse to get A TUMBlr.

"infatuation is when you find somebody who is absolutely perfect. love is when you realize that they aren’t and it doesn’t matter. "

2009-10-24T00:22:00.001+08:00

i will read and re-read those few lines you said to me on the 27/6 for countless sleepless nights to come.

I'm sorry that I lost my mind, but I never really meant to die.

2009-10-19T19:45:00.004+08:00

I have officially survived the first day of sem 1.2. Now I just need to survive the next 100 or so days till the next long break. Sigh.. I had 4 hours of sleep last night, and when I came home I had a 4 hour nap. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. :( IS seems... Interesting enough. Interesting being used loosely. I'm still not sure about it yet, but I'm glad that for the next 2 weeks my lessons will start at 1.

On another note, I would just like to take some time to mention how AMAZING the shopping in KL is. It's like the rich man's Thailand, bearing in mind that the shirts in Thailand cost around 4 dollars so the rich man's version costs like 8. Haha. And the food in KL is just as good as Thailand. I had the best claypot rice and o lua (or however you spell it) there. Usually I only eat the eggs in o lua because the taste of the cockles makes me gag, but this time I ate everything. :D

Oh yeah my damn blog's background is fucked up, but I just changed it and I don't want to go through all the damn hassle of changing it again! Urgh.

Now I have to go clean up and room and do my laundry so I can get my allowance. ... This is so unfair.

2009-10-13T20:47:00.001+08:00

In 3 months and a day, Green Day will be in Singapore. Can I get a HELL YEAH!?

2009-10-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

I'm right here, and I must admit, I've been pining for you.

2009-10-07T16:41:00.003+08:00

I'm going to paint my room tomorrow, finally after almost 10 years with the same stupid my-mum-insists-its-purple-but-i-SWEAR-it's-white color that I've had. On the down side I have to remove the Across the Universe postcards that I spent HOURS painstakingly pasting on my wall. Then when my walls are all painted I'll have to stick them up again. :( Maybe I wont bother. My mum said the color scheme I've chosen will clash horribly but she was the one who chose the shit color that my walls currently are so I'm not inclined to think too highly of her opinion.

On a totally separate note, GOOD GOD THIS IS OLD. And I can't believe I lost that bracelet! FUCK.

2009-10-05T04:11:00.004+08:00

User: What do I do?

Cleverbot: Take food, water and run away and hide.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: To the beach.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I don't know why.

User: I don't want to go to the beach alone.

Cleverbot: I would go with you but I don't know where you are.

Cleaverbot is nicer and has more compassion than most people I know.

2009-09-28T13:51:00.000+08:00

I've never been so scared to receive texts.

2009-09-27T22:32:00.001+08:00

I don't even know where to begin.. This hurts more than words can even BEGIN to describe. I never wanted things to end, let alone end like this. I don't even know if you'll read this, but on the off-chance that you are reading this, just... know that I'm sorry and... This sucks...

2009-09-27T03:56:00.001+08:00

It's over.

2009-09-27T01:55:00.003+08:00

God i'm so scared. god please i'm so so so scared. i never wanted this. please... this isn't the way its supposed to be. i don't know what to do anymore. i don't. i've never felt so useless and so alone before. god please...

2009-09-15T19:20:00.002+08:00

La roux! Yay for chicks who look like boys and sound like pre-pubescent boys! :D

2009-09-03T00:52:00.002+08:00

-Insert corny love picture here-

Well I actually was going to, but as usually, bloggers being a bitch.

I was just thinking, my perception of love has really changed. Before, I used to think feeling extremely nervous whenever I was around 'the guy', blushing like mad and not being able to string two sentences together meant I was in love.

But I know its more. So much more. So much more that I'll be here typing till 9 in the morning and I still wont be done listing out all the reasons I can think of. I guess.. I've grown a lot since secondary two.

It's 2.30 in the morning, I'm tired, and i'm thinking...

As long as I'm one of the top.

2009-08-30T05:00:00.000+08:00

mao?? :(

2009-08-20T06:02:00.000+08:00

Why oh WHY is blogger still fucked up for me? I. Want. To. Upload. Useless. Pictures! ):

2009-08-14T06:17:00.002+08:00

Egad. Blogger is fucked up in both firefox AND safari now?! What the hell is happening?! Screw this shit. Seriously. :(

Wellll, you may be wondering why I'm blogging at 6.30 in the morning. To tell you the truth, its because I've been doing medsoc. All. Night. Long. Ahahaha yeah right. I fell asleep and woke up at 3.30 and have been awake since then. Urgh. You'd think I'd hurry and finish up so that I could get half an hour more sleep but nahhh, instead I'm surfing cuteoverload.com. Damn I'm the world's greatest procrastinator.

Ok so I've managed to tear myself away from cuteoverload and have written another paragraph. What I've written is so out of point its insane, but YOU try looking for articles on the success of the advertisement campaign for the Canon EOS 500D which is (or so I've read while researching) obsolete already and see if you don't start pulling things out of your ass.

I just finished, and the time now is..... 7 in the morning. On the dot. Crap. I want to go back to sleeeepppp. :(

Yeah.. Seeing you fight back tears as you talk about someone else? Possibly the worse feeling ever. kthxbai.

2009-07-29T22:17:00.003+08:00

Hello from the world's greatest procrastinator. I find it more engaging to stare at my screen blankly than to move my hands and type out my cats reflection. Reading the first 3 sentences makes me want to vomit my (horrible) dinner out. "I realize that CATS has indeed made me a much more creative person." Urgh.. Kill me. Kill me now.

2009-07-26T20:52:00.002+08:00

Listening to - Your Call by Secondhand Serenade

Sigh... I'm rushing to draw our STUPID fridge in illustrator and it's making my eyes burn worse than ever. And even better, I'm not even going to school tomorrow so I won't be presenting for CATS. Um.. Fail much? :( Sigh.. The doctor said I should feel much better in 48 hours, and he said that on friday night. It's 48 hours later and I still feel as bad(if not worse) than before and my fever isn't breaking too.

Apparently all I have is a throat infection but I think it's H1N1 and my mom thinks so too. -_-"" How nice. If Mr Adrian thought I had a seductive voice as the voice-over for Kevin's group's video, I wonder how much more seductive he'd find my voice now. It sure is low and husky. Like a guy's voice. Actually it's more croaky than husky. Sexay. Not.

The starting of Can't Let Her Get Away by Michael Jackson sounds EXACTLY the same as Right Round by Flo Rida. Heh. Meatspin. Heh.

p.s. I'm staring at my lovely walls and I still can't bring myself to take down my posters. :'(

♥

2009-07-25T20:56:00.003+08:00

Like omgee blogger is finally not fucked anymore. ...In Safari. It's still screwed in Firefox. -_-" Maybe I should start using Safari instead.

Well surprise surprise, I'm still sick. I actually feel worse than I did yesterday and I just started having a runny nose and sneezing but I'm too scared to tell my mum this because then she'll drag me down to the clinic and make me take a test to see if I have Influenza A. And if I do have that then I'm pretty much screwed.

It is incredibly boring and lonely to be stuck in my room alone when I could be out doing a million different things today. Even CATS project seems more fun right now then flopping around the house.

ARRGHHH STUPID FEVER AND COUGH AND SORE THROAT AND COLD.

:( Someone cheer me up?

-your hugs are nice too, nothing like i've ever had before-

♥

2009-07-24T00:00:00.007+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

♥

2009-07-23T20:41:00.002+08:00

Well, blogger is being a BITCH right now. I can't change my font color, I can't upload photos, etc etc etc oh and plus the page layout is just fucked. -_-""

Well yesterday(or was it the day before?), I took a nap and woke up with no less than FIVE mosquito bites all over my legs. -_-" WHY ARE THERE MOSQUITOS IN MY ROOOMMMMM :(

On a totally unrelated(but equally irritating) note, the stupid football advertisement thing on Mel has to be the most irritating thing on the internet ever.

I have to take down all the posters on my wall now and replace them with various 'hunks' like jesse mccartney, chad michael murray, joe jonas, etc etc. Need I say more? Excuse me while I puke my guts out. :(

♥

2009-07-21T14:10:00.006+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

♥

2009-07-19T21:31:00.003+08:00

I was just watching Harry Potter on Channel 5 and I spotted a continuity problem like 10 seconds after I started watching. Locvid has ruined movie watching for me. Totally. :( Sigh... I hate being stuck at home alone.

Oh and have I mentioned how dashing Tre Cool looks with his new hair?

♥

2009-07-19T15:44:00.002+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

♥

2009-07-16T13:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I hid myself under the covers like I did at night when I was small, to protect myself and to feel safe. It used to work when I was afraid of ghosts or demented soft toys under my bed, but it didn't work last night. Somehow when you grow older the things that scare you or that you dread get bigger and harder to run away from and simple things like hiding under your sheets and hugging your pillow don't provide the comfort or the safety that they did before.

Going through old messages helps, but I once commented on Stephie's blog "There's no point dwelling in the past or the future cuz then you'll forget to live in the present." I give such great advice, I only wish I knew how to listen to myself.

Reading it all made me sick to my stomach. I never knew you were still hurting. I was almost expecting you to say something along the lines of what you told me today, but that didn't take away the shock or make it hurt any less either. I can't really do anything except just wait and hope that things will be alright.

My hands are shaking, I don't know how i'm going to get through the practical later.

2009-07-13T10:27:00.001+08:00

Everyone please enjoy the song on my blog before it gets cut to become 30 seconds.

Oh,

I am a poor sonofabitch. :(

2009-07-12T15:36:00.002+08:00

Listening to - More Than Local Boys by The Matches

I am in urgent need of new clothes. Really. Is anyone kind enough to buy me the entire graphic tee section of charlotterusse.com/Forever 21?? Pwease? :D

On a happier (albeit not any less materialistic) note, I finally got my [faux ):] leather jacket yesterday! And it cost less than 50 dollars, how awesome is that.

Well today has been totally unproductive and boring. I hate Sundays. Have been reading through old messages to pass the time. Heh.

-aye, imy-

:D

♥

2009-07-09T14:15:00.003+08:00

Have I mentioned how insanely boring these stupid 4 hour breaks are every Thursday?? I can feel my brain cells leaking out of my ears. It every Thursday where I rekindle my relationship with mofunzone and addictinggames. Heh. I really, really need to find something productive to do. :S

♥

2009-07-07T01:03:00.000+08:00

You once told me never to doubt something. Funny tho, I'm doubting it now.

♥

2009-07-06T19:07:00.003+08:00

Crying youself to sleep is only applicable when you can actually fall asleep.

EDIT:Exhaustion works tho.

♥

2009-07-06T10:48:00.004+08:00

You never quite notice how annoying your parents can be until you spend the whole day out with them on a day where you want nothing more than to curl up in your bed and slowly fade away into nothingness.

I notice that I tend to want to mutilate myself whenever i'm feeling particularly broken. Like when I decided to not be a wussy and actually get a tattoo. And now I keep thinking about getting another one or a piercing but I know I can't.

I hope this doesn't mean that I'm on my way to becoming a self-harmer. I actually see the logic behind cutting. That can't be good.

FYI, you're not sad because it rains, but it rains BECAUSE you're sad.

Hope things will work out.

♥

2009-06-30T11:31:00.001+08:00

I AM GOING TO PASS THE WEBGRAPH TEST! Woooooo! :D

I am so cold I can't even type properly. kthxbai.

♥

2009-06-20T15:46:00.001+08:00

Listening to - A Lonely September by Plain White T's

Word.

♥

2009-06-17T14:50:00.003+08:00

Listening to - Gotta Be Somebody by Nickleback

I hope you enjoyed the night before last as much as I did.

♥

2009-06-14T12:34:00.004+08:00

Listening to - The Way She Feels by Between The Trees

Well I had 15 hours of sleep last, last night. Sleep has never felt so good. :D I slacked around at home the whole of yesterday, was feeling too dopey to do anything else. Was moping to nicole that we have no life, and so we're going out today with val and ashu. Yay. I'm finally going to have a life on Sunday. Heh. So pathetic right.

Apparently there was a problem with my colour swatches for my logos? Some had outlines and some didn't or something like that. Only ONE out of all the squares had an outline and Ang Chiat actually noticed. -_-" Now I know why his glasses are so huge. It's because they're not even normal glasses, their magnifying glasses.

Oh and did I mention that I totally screwed up my Marcomm and Medsoc common tests? Urgh. I'm definitely going to fail Marcomm. There's not even a glimmer of hope that I'll pass. :( Oh well.

It's finally break now, but I doubt it'll be much of a break for us. My Monday and Tuesday are already jam-packed with locvid and "overnight filming"(ya right heh heh heh). *winks*

HAHAHA BURN!

The deeper you cut, the deeper I hurt.

♥

2009-06-12T14:34:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO MORE GRACOMM NO MORE BAUHAUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

♥